Today marks the 5th year of when my ex told me that we were done.

When my ex-wife divorced me after 11 years of marriage, I had to listen to countless motivational and inspirational videos every hour of every stinking day. I remember waking up in odd hours of the morning – 2, 3, 4 AM – and needing to put earplugs in right away to get rid of the horrific pain that I was going through inside. The pain was so deep that I knew if I didn’t put the earplugs in right away, that my entire day was going to get ruined.

Today, I am using the exact same learnings and teachings that I received to help people transition out of the streets. God will use your most horrific events in life and turn it into something good if you allow it. Bad things happen to all of us, SHIT happens to all but I genuinely believe that when they do happen, that they are OPEN INVITATIONS for us to either go through it alone OR go through it PURPOSELY with God.

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Spiritual Growth is what gives me the most pleasure in Life. I’ve grown in other facets of Life, but nothing satisfies me more than growing in my Spiritual understanding of God.

I’ve grown Physically before, that was great and it’s still is great but the hype faded. I’ve grown Mentally through my day job, learning the software, going to training classes, meeting new people, but that quickly faded too. I’ve grown Emotionally as well through the relationships I’ve had, through the books I’ve read, but that too, didn’t last.

So what is it about growing Spiritually that is so pleasurable?

If I had to nail it down, I would have to say that it’s the unending revelation of new heights within my heart that keeps me so engaged. That feeling deep down when you realize something new, when you experience the greatness of the word and is able to see first-hand in real life the application of it – it becomes like a drug. Growing muscles, becoming lean, learning something new intellectually doesn’t give me that stimuli. It just makes my body look “cool” but it doesn’t have that internally deep satisfying feeling that lasts. It’s short lived. Obviously I feel great after I work out but that feeling doesn’t last the whole day or the whole week – I’d have to work out again the next day to get that same feeling back. Versus in Spirituality, besides feeling great after learning something new, on top of that – it opens up new levels of horizon for me that I never thought was possible or that was even there. The growth never stops and it’s as if there is no peak and it’s just an endless stream of new doors that opens leading me to new levels each day.

The challenge here though (as I’m experiencing it right now as I try to explain this in words) is trying to explain this to someone who has never experienced this before. The physical, mental, and emotional growth might be their equivalent to the Spiritual Growth that I’m referring to. It’s like if the only burger you ever had was McDonald’s, you don’t know what you’re missing from In and Out.

The other thing to that is so addicting about Spirituality and a relationship with God is the Change in Vision. You start to see the world differently. It’s that scripture that says “you are no longer of this world” that comes into play in reality because you literally do not see things or people the same way. You’re not as irritable, you’re not as impatient, you’re not as easily annoyed – you seem to have an increase in your ability to be more accepting of where people are in their journey because you now understand that they are simply at a different point in their life. You don’t pass judgment onto them, you simply are able to accept them exactly where they are because you understand that it’s okay. It’s okay to be at different points of our journey because you yourself were once there and more so, to someone else, you might be in a place where they have been before and thereby you understand the value of not being judged.

Third would have to be the Transformation of not just the Vision, but of the Belief. Belief in oneself, belief in God, and belief in Mankind. You start to see God in everything and in everyone. So your Belief in yourself increases, you become more and more comfortable about who you are including all of your flaws that all of a sudden, activities such as checking your facebook “likes” or Instagram “hearts” isn’t that important anymore – you are no longer as concerned as you once were because your Belief in who you are, in who made you, in what you really are (children of God) becomes undeniably true to you. This belief passes on to how you believe in the people around you. Because you see God in them, you now see everyone as equals – regardless of clothing, home, car, or income levels – you see God in them and you want to help them even if your physical mind is telling you something else because you are no longer doing it for yourself – instead you are doing it for God. So you no longer expect anything in return because the act on its own was done not for the return but for God who says to Trust in Him and to Do Good (Psalm 37:3). So just doing good becomes the reward in it by itself.

Fourth is the Increase of the Good Voice. Your Angel inside gets louder and thus the FUN Begins! It’s your test to see how much you really Trust God. Would you obey your Angel when it tells you to pick up that piece of gum or toilet paper that’s on the floor? Would you obey your Angel when it tells you to talk to that Janitor and ask for his name? Would you obey your Angel when it tells you to turn around and go back to that homeless man and give him something to eat? Life with God is EXCITING because you never truly know what you’re going to be asked to do or to say on any given day.

Fifth and last but certainly not the least for me is the TRUTH. You become a Warrior of the Truth – meaning in any scenario, argument or discussion, you are no longer about retaliating or hurting someone whose hurt you to get even – instead, you are only concerned about getting to the Root of Things, to simply unravel the TRUTH. You just want to get to the bottom of it, you just want to know the True source of the issue so that you can properly adjust and address what truly needs to be addressed. And as a result, you become Tactfully Bolder in your conversations. Still very loving and caring, but it’s no longer a “blind care or love” – the care and love is genuinely there along with the intimate desire to discover the TRUTH. It’s like when I get into conflict with my previous relationships, before I’d simply say something to “get them back” – but today, my conversations are much more meaningful – deeper. I look for the TRUTH, Tactfully and in revealing that TRUTH – both sides are able to realize what needs to be adjusted on both ends. That’s really what the life of Jesus brings. If you really think about it, JC was always seeking the root of things – even if it hurt or even if He had to go against some tough political figure such as the Roman Empire – he was always trying to get to the bottom of things as it was in that bottom that He was able to unravel the true meaning of what was going on. It’s like that Scripture on John chapter 4 where He asked a Samaritan woman for a drink – I’m not sure if you knew about this, but Samaritan women were not allowed to associate with Jews back then. Much more, a Samaritan woman like this who was basically a prostitute as she was sleeping with numerous men (I think it said she was with her fifth man at that time). JC wasn’t just asking for a drink because he was thirsty – He specifically asked this Samaritan woman as He was seeking the truth – which is that rule of not associating with Jews was “stupid” and pointless and much more, to look down on people that have sinned is not a task left for mankind – truth is, that task of Judgment is only for God. Not for us. So who are we to look down on anyone that sins?

So next time someone says something mean to you, or hurts you – instead of retaliating verbally – take a step back and pause. Ask yourself, what is the Truth about this comment? Where is it coming from? Be honest and sincere with yourself and I think if you truly seek the Truth about the situation, if you truly invite God into your everyday decisions (especially the tough ones), the real solution would self-manifest itself.